Author: inkyblacksnow

The Struggle We Feel

~ inkyblacksnow ~ 4 Comments

A lot of us like to call it an art block. Times when you don’t know what to create. Creativity seems to elude you, ideas won’t come and repetition seems dreadfully boring. Some of us succumb to this feeling of boredom, agitation and empty thoughts. They are not able to create a fire with the short sparks of inspirations that come and go. So they wait, hoping that one day one of those sparks is going to be hot enough to light up their insights in a blaze of creativity and motivation.

Others decide to fight this block. They try do dig under it and build ladders to be able to pass the cold wall that towers in front of them. They do not stand still, they simply put their energy into something they CAN change. 

But what if this block, this wall seems omnipresent and never changing. What if you, for some reason can’t seem to be able to find a way past it?

Sometimes I wonder if I am even allowed to call myself an artist. I used to draw more, experiment with painting and write. Most importantly, however, I was able to dream. Nearly every second my head was not occupied with something else, I dreamed. I created whole worlds in my head, invented creatures and races and researched to mix fantasy and magic with logic. And yet, after all this time spent imagining and creating, my flames seemed to slowly go out. 

I began to notice it around my graduation from school, I was 19 then I believe. For a while I thought it was simply a side effect of my life changing but with time it got worse. I didn’t dream anymore when I was sitting by the window alone in my room. Walks were spent drowning out my thoughts with music where it was once used to fuel my flame. I stared at blank sheets of paper and empty screens for longer than I care to admit.
And every time I did not create or get better, I felt lazy and undeserving. I thought, if others can do this what is hindering me to do the same? 

I believe there are several reasons for this. I have thought long and hard about why on earth I had no longer the freedom to create with my thoughts. 

But that’s exactly it, missing freedom.

It is not that I have lost my creativity or my drive to create. I would not have started this blog if I did. I would not still carry my sketchbook nearly everywhere I go, no matter if I use it or not. The will is still there. The need never left. The worlds in my head are not gone.

What happened instead is that I stuffed my head to the brim with something else. My understanding was that I had to do this, that it was expected of me. However, now that I have filled my head with worries, I neither feel like an adult, nor like a fulfilled creator.

In a way this is not dissimilar to what I talked about in my previous post called The Art of Struggle. This is what I mean when I am talking about that struggles and suffering can hold us back. It can hold us back, not only in our creative processes but in every aspect in our lives. 

Let me give an example. When I was younger, and I did not understand for a really long time, my stepdad once told me, “The chaos in your room is a representation of the chaos in your mind.”. I hated him for saying that. My room was a horrible mess and I could not see how the one had anything to do with the other. Now, over ten years later, I think I understand. For me, what he said means that, when your head is so full and in such disarray then there is no space for other things. It simply means that somewhere, with something you are overwhelmed. In my experience, when that happens it can be very difficult to focus on anything else.

Maybe this is where people like me have to do our first step. I asked why others were able to overcome these phases while I struggled with it over and over again. The first step, I believe, is to give what you want to do space.

Make it important. 

Make it important enough that you clean one side of your desk to be able to draw. Make it important enough to at least try and write a few words a day. Make it important enough to take a few minutes out of your day to do a workout. This might be daunting, I know, I don’t always manage to take my own advice either. But simply trying to can go a long way.

My second step would be to set yourself some goals. Tiny, tiny goals. Goals you know you can easily achieve! Mine is to write at least 500 words a day and right now I am at 858 words. I know I can do 500 words, they are nothing! Well, actually, they are something and something is everything.

You don’t have to be perfect, strive for better than yesterday instead.

I suppose my last advice would be to attempt and make a habit out of trying. For me this is the hardest one. Why? Because some days it takes no effort at all to make something important and to create a space for actually doing it. However, some days simply feel impossible. That is why making a habit out of trying can be such a difficult task. A lot of the time art, sports and all the other things that are hard but so rewarding seem less important. So we slip up. We let ourselves go and fill the spot we just freed up with new worries, with other tasks that seem so much more urgent.

I am guilty of that but I am going to keep on trying to try until there is no way for me not to.

So yes, despite questioning myself over and over again, I do believe I can call myself an artist. 

Let’s do our best to try and get better every day.

The Artist’s Work: Separated Connection

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Last week I read an article called Böse Onkel (bad or evil uncles), published in the Austrian paper called Falter. This article discusses whether or not the work an artist produces should be separated from the creator. This topic is by far not a new one and is also talked about in the essay The Death of the Author by Roland Barthes (1967). In it he argues that a text should be read and interpreted without the author in mind. This is a recurring debate, including one of the most recent examples involving Peter Handke and Austrian author who was nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature. 

The Death of the Author, or the separation between the author and their work is a very difficult but interesting topic. Of course this also includes other kinds of artists not only authors. My question is, how are we supposed to separate the art from the artist and is it really advisable to do so?

In my understanding and experience, it is very difficult for a creator to not put something of themselves into their work. Of course, the difficulty does not stay the same with each piece of artwork that is being created. If I, for example, painted a portrait of a person it is very possible and probably expected of me, to put as little of myself into the painting as possible. However, the outcome might still be influenced by my view or opinion of the person. Our experiences and opinions shape the way we create. Even someone who seemingly captures the truth like a photographer, decides what to frame and how. 

We convey meaning with what we create and we influence what we create.

I dare say we lose a certain amount of context and depth when we take the artist completely out of the equation and people should be aware of that. Again, this is not true for every piece of art to the same amount. Some artworks are created specifically without meaning and sometimes they are simply created to be beautiful or functional.
It is important to look at works separated from the artist and to view them on their own as well as to consider the creator. This gives us different ways of looking at something, to interpret and form an opinion.

Nonetheless, I am aware that every one of us consumes pieces of art without ever considering the artist. I do not see anything wrong with watching a movie, reading a book or listening to a song without starting an in depth research project about the creator. A certain amount of awareness as to what the intended message was or might have been, however, does not hurt.

My next question is, where does the separation begin and end?
In the case of Peter Handke it is being argued that a person who played down war crimes or even denied they happened, as well as supported a leader accused of such crimes, should not be the recipient of a Nobel Prize. In a situation like this, the separation between the work and the artist is simply not possible. You do not award a prize to a piece of work, you award it to the person who created said piece. In doing so you are praising them, encouraging them to continue doing what they do and ultimately, giving them a platform. Furthermore, to come back to what I mentioned earlier, who is to say how much of the opinions and worldviews are actually portrait in an artist’s work and what message is being sent.

To conclude, I believe that works of art should be viewed with and without the artist in mind. The intent of the artist, however, should not entirely be taken out of the equation. For one, considering the creator might actually give us a deeper insight into what we are consuming. However, it is also very interesting and important to see how that interpretation can change if we do separate the art and the artist.
All in all it is very important to consider what person we put into the limelight and what message we and they want to convey. A famous artist and every other person in the public eye should be aware of the power they hold, as should we.

The Art of Struggle

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There is this perception that an artist is at their most creative when they suffer. Suffering, in the opinion of a lot of people, is what brings forth great art. I believe, however, that this is a dangerous mindset to have. This is especially true if you believe that to be a great artist you have to be in pain, feel loss, battle with addiction or mental illness. That somehow, not feeling okay gives you an artistic advantage.
Personally, I don’t believe that to be true.

What I do believe, however, is that we artists think, cope and express ourselves through our medium of choice. Maybe this is also where this myth comes from.
My personal experience with this is that yes, sometimes I create amazing and personal pieces when I am struggling. Do I feel particularly creative during this time? No.
Instead of being creative I try to visualise my pain, to get it out of my system to not have to feel it anymore. It is simply a coincidence that what comes out of my suffering might be visible to others. But this is not the only time I do this!

Surprisingly enough this also happens when I am in love and incredibly happy. In contrast to the times where I am hurting and creating, I actually feel creative when I am happy. The reason for this, in my opinion, is quite simple. When you are suffering and hurt, your mind usually goes in just one direction. A lot of the time it is very difficult to feel anything but the pain. Your perspective gets skewed and your vision becomes restricted. There is not a lot of space for creative processes.

It is different with happiness. When you are content and happy your mind is free to roam. It is not stuck in a vicious circle of self destruction. On the contrary, your mind is set on growing, on moving forward, on getting better. Nevertheless, even happiness alone does not make us great artists. What makes us great artists are our experiences in life. We learn through suffering and joy. We also learn during the periods where we just feel…normal. What also makes us better artists is practice. It is as simple as that. Practice, experience and empathy, these three aspects combined with patience and endurance and some passion for what we are doing. This makes us great artists.

Another assumption about why the myth of the suffering artist exists is that our society is very fixated on negative things. The negative aspects of life are the things we focus on and remember. Struggle seems so exciting to us! We love watching it! The news are overflowing with struggles and negativity. It seems that we don’t much like to talk about the good things. So why would it be any different with art?
We also find it inspirational when people struggle and in spite of it still create. They suffer and bring forth amazing pieces! Are their creations so amazing because the artist was hurting while making them or because they are actually amazing?
I am not saying that there are no great works that exists because someone had to go through hardships in their life. On the contrary, I believe that these works are important but this is by far not the only way great works are being created.

Yes, artists sometimes struggle to make a living and yes sometimes the way they express their pain appeals to others. This, however, does not mean that we as artists have to struggle to be able to create great things. Let’s put an end to the myth that this is the only way that we can achieve something. Pain is not the answer. We are human beings and I don’t believe it is a good thing to destroy oneself to create art.
Let’s acknowledge that art comes in a variety of different shapes and forms and is inspired by an extensive amount of experiences and emotions. 


We don’t create because we struggle, we create because we are alive.

Hello World

~ inkyblacksnow ~ Leave a comment

Dear fellow artists,

I welcome you to my blog!
I especially welcome those amongst you who are feeling confused, scared and or stuck.

Why? Because I do too.

Exactly that, however, is the reason I want to starting this blog. Just today I got told “Don’t tell me now, write it down. I believe that writing helps you think”.
These words encouraged me in my decision to start this blog.
But let’s get into why I am doing this in a little more detail.

Sharing my experiences

I want to share my experiences, past and present, with other people going through similar struggles that I do. Art can be a tricky thing, as well as the life as an Artist professional or otherwise. It doesn’t really matter if you make money with your art, I believe that a lot of us go through similar things. For me it seems to be important to not only showcase the accomplishments of artists, and other people, but also how they got there. How did these seemingly happy people get to where they are? How happy are they really? And how can we help each other find ways to be our own happy artist? 

Thoughts and Ideas

Another important part for me would be to share my thoughts and ideas with you. Considering that writing seems to help me get my head around ideas, I believe that this could be a great platform for me to be able to do just that. Think. Since doing so alone is boring and does not get me very far, I want to do it in a space where other people, you guys, can join me in that process. 
This means I want to think, learn, grow and encourage others to do the same.

Books, Movies, Games and more

For the thinking part to work I need to get some food for thought. Through  exposing myself to different media, books, films, games, music and so on and so forth, I want to fuel that process. As I mentioned before, I want to learn and what better way to learn than to expose myself to new things. That said, I also want to talk about what I consume and what I learned from it. 

Now you might ask yourself what I get out of sharing these topics with you. Why not simpls keep a diary and track my thoughts and ideas in there? Obviously there are the reasons I mentioned before. From sharing my experience for others in similar positions as me, to expressing my thoughts, to learning more about myself and the world we all live in. 
This, of course, includes discussion, inspiring myself and others, in other words, bringing together like minded people. A very nice addition is that through writing posts for this blog I get to practice my English, specifically my writing. Because no, English is not my first language, I just enjoy it a lot. That said I might also share and write some fiction for the same purpose. Considering that writing is also one way, next to drawing and painting, through which I express myself as an artist, I believe this fits the theme quite well.

Now that I have introduced this blog and what I hope it is going to be, all that is left to do is to just keep on writing.


Yours
M